Friday 13th May

You may have joined LNS for any number of reasons. Perhaps to realize some of your own aspirations or for the hope and optimism that the school offers the future of your children. When focusing on such wonderful opportunities, we may forget the problematic aspects of group life.  We may find that as we busy ourselves with alleviating the problems of mainstream education, we forget or ignore the problems that are created by this process.

We are  constantly  subject  to the powerful and unconscious forces that are at play within all groups, that draw us repeatedly towards both enchantment and despair.  It is only through a process of reflection that we are able to observe and look objectively at hidden and troublesome group dynamics.

Perhaps now is such a time.

When we joined LNS in 2008, I promised myself never to become  involved in conflict. I felt anxious to protect the future for my boys, and felt privileged to be here.  It was inconceivable to me that I would exchange personal insecurity and fearfulness for a public outburst of  unconsidered rage. (To those who are not on our Google group, I am referring to my recent post on this forum). I make no excuses, but such is the power of groups. Paradox is an integral part of the life of group process, and sets us all up to face our deepest struggles.

In ‘In praise of Paradox’, Mary Morrison says, ‘We stand in a turmoil of contradictions without having the faintest idea how to handle them: Law/Freedom; Rich/Poor; Love/Hate – the list seems endless. Paradox lives and moves this realm; it is the art of balancing opposites in such a way that they do not  cancel  each other but shoot sparks of light across their points of polarity.

Perhaps we have lost insight into the innate wisdom of human nature that our ancestors took for granted. We no longer dwell within small sustainable communities, but are submerged within one massive social structure. Perhaps it comes as a shock to us that both conflict and peace are two sides of the same coin. One cannot exist without the other.

I came into school on Wednesday morning feeling afraid of what lay ahead. I was greeted with smiles, love, friendship, compassion, support, hugs and tenderness, and all because I’d made myself known, I’d made myself vulnerable, I’d made that connection.

I now have greater understanding of just how deep that passion for our school runs within each and every one of us. We are all valuable members of the school and all of our experiences and contributions matter.

Perhaps at this time of change, within the evolution of the school’s identity, we may be privately or collectively experiencing a range of difficult emotions. Unwelcomed emotions  such as anxiety, fear, hurt, rage, anger, resentment,  grief, relief, shock, as well as  peace, joy, humour, warmth  and love. The list is endless.
Perhaps, in a sense, our school community is experiencing collectively what Brene Brown describes as being her Spiritual Awakening. Perhaps our compassion, connection and authenticity, will lead to a new birth of,  ‘joy, creativity, belonging and love’, (B.Brown).

with thanks, Lizi Orchard (Ben, Tommy and James) x

REF; ted.com/talks/brene_brown_on_vulnerability.html (thanks so much Joanna) Paradoxes of Group Life..Kenwyn K. Smith, David N. Berg

Group Action, T. Martin Ringer